My Favorite 'Oh Shit!' Moment This Week

My favorite "Oh shit!" moment for this week was generously provided by Lindsey Evans.

You probably know her better as Miss Louisiana Teen.

Yes, it seems that with only days left before her reign was over, Evans decided to try her hand at crime. After all, what was she going to do after she gave the crown back? Might as well learn a new trade.

So her and three of her friends decided to dine and dash. After running up a $46.07 tab they bailed and ran without paying a dime (allegedly). I'm sure they laughed and giggled for blocks until Lindsey suddenly realized that she had left her pocketbook behind.

Say it with me boys and girls... "OH SHIT!"

Well, the dumbass, errr... suspect went back to the scene of the crime to try to retrieve her purse. The police were, of course, waiting for her and her friends. They would have probably let Lindsey go with a stern lecture (her friends all swore that she had paid her part of the tab) except for two little problems. 1) she admitted that she had paid nothing and 2) she had a couple of fatties stashed in her purse (allegedly).

Yeah, I'm thinking crime is not a good career choice for the young Miss Louisiana Teen. Successful criminals must be daring AND SMART!

A co-worker calls me. "Hey Dave. Want to play in a softball tournament?"

• I remember that I haven't played softball in a really long time.
  
• I forget why that is so I answer, "Sure!".

The day of practice...

• I remember that I'm going to need my glove and bat.
  
• I forget where I put them the last time I used them. In fact, I'm not sure i even remember what they look like.

I show up for practice and begin warming up...

• I remember how to throw a ball.
  
• I foget how important stretching is, especially at my age.

We finish warming up and begin practicing fielding the ball. I start out in the outfield. A fly ball comes my way and I begin to sprint towards where I think I need to be to catch it.

• I remember now why stretching would have been a really good idea.
  The pain that is shooting up the back of my leg will serve to remind me for the rest of the evening that next time I should stretch first.
  
• I forget that I'm not as quick as i once was and the ball drops untouched in the outfield. I'm bent over, hands on knees, wheezing and looking at it like it's a big white turd. I pick it up and throw it in.

Its my turn to practice batting.

• I remember to keep my eye on the ball.
  
• I forget that my eyesight is now iffy at best.

I take a mighty swing... and miss.

• I remember that cracking sound my back makes as being a really bad sign that something isn't quite right.
  
• I forget that intense pain will follow shortly and I'll wonder why my back hurts.

I take another swing... and make solid contact with the ball.

• I remember to follow through. I am pleased with my effort and stand admiring the flight of my well hit ball.
  
• I forget that I'm supposed to be running to first base.

I'm asked if I want to give playing first base a try.

• I remember that you don't have to run very much when you play first. I tell them, "Sure!"
  
• I forget that I don't have the hand/eye coordination of a 20 year old anymore and that it hurts like hell if you miss catching a ball being thrown to/at you at a velocity approaching the speed of light. SOFTball my ass, that thing felt like a brick.

I'm driving home from practice. The pain and stiffness is beginning to set in.

• I remember now why it's been a really long time since I played softball.
  
• I forget to take my exit off the freeway.