I am SO there!!!

It's the holiday season. And with the holiday season comes holiday parties. The pinnacle of holiday parties for most of us is the company party. Yes, that fun loving, festive event where the person in the cubicle across from yours dances on the table just before telling the VP he's an ass and throwing up in the punch bowl. It is simply a 'must attend' event. After all, you don't want to be hearing from someone else about the scandalous dress that Mary Beth wore, or about how Bob did a face plant while trying to leap onto the stage for karaoke. Right? That shit is too good to miss.

Of course, the reason I bring this up is because our company is having it's Holiday Party this weekend. I was torn about whether I should attend until I saw the announcement today reminding us to purchase our tickets. It included all the usual information. Date, time, place, ticket price, dress code,etc. But the thing that caught my eye... the thing which clinched it for me was the menu.

There were two items in particular which got my attention. The first was the fact there would be an open bar for 4 HOURS!. This almost certainly guarantees that someone will get drunk and show their ass before the night is over.

The second, equally important menu item was the "Dessert Flambe' Station".



An open bar and flaming desserts. Now THAT is entertainment. It has "America's Funniest Home Video" written all over it. Not only do I plan to be there. I'm bringing my video camera, my digital camera and my cell phone with the emergency fire and police numbers pre-programmed.

Note to self: Sit near an exit.

What If The President Had To Do An Exit Interview?

HR Rep: Mr. President. As you know, all government employees are required to do an exit interview before leaving. This includes elected officials.

Bush: What? I was elected? I thought Barrack won.

HR Rep: No Mr. President. You didn't run. You're only allowed two terms as President and you've served your eight years. We need to do an exit interview with you.

Bush: Okay, which is it? Two or eight? First you said two, then you said eight. Stop trying to confuse me with numbers. You know I don't like numbers.

HR Rep: (sighs audibly) Yes sir.

Bush: So Barrack won?

HR Rep: Yes sir, I'm afraid he did. Now, may we please get back to...

Bush: So I wasn't elected?

HR Rep: No sir. You didn't even run.

Bush: Are you shittin me? I didn't run? Why not? I would have kicked his ass.

HR Rep: I'm sure you would have sir but you weren't allowed to run. So about this exit interview...

Bush: Why wasn't I allowed to run?

HR Rep: Well sir you already served... ummm.. well, it's the law Mr. President. You just couldn't.

Bush: Well hell, I should have vetoed that law. Is it too late to veto it? I'm the pres, i can do that right?

HR Rep: Actually sir it's part of the Constitution. The twenty-second amendment. Passed in 1947 and ratified in 1951.

Bush: Yea, probably too late to veto that sucker now. I guess those damned Democrats slipped one through on us. But hells bells, I never paid any attention to the Constitution before, why start now? We need to hold the elections again. I need to run. McCain effed it all up.

HR Rep: Yes sir.

Bush: Why are you here again?

HR Rep: It wasn't important sir. I'll come back later. Probably on January 21.

Bush: Good idea. Send Cheney in on your way out. I need to run this election do-over thingy past him, see what he thinks.

HR Rep: Yes Mr. President.