It's all relative...

I'm reposting some of my old blog material,
mostly to get it all in one place again.
This was originally posted on My Space on Aug 9, 2008.

When I got home from the gym today i sat down and turned on the TV to see what was going on with the Olympics. Double skulling (rowing) was on and the camera shot was in tight on the leader. The two men were focused, rowing in perfect unison and cutting effortlessly through the water. Watching the water zip past their boat as it moved along gave the impression they were practically flying along the smooth surface of the water.



Then the camera panned out so that the second place team might be included in the shot. In the background a dozen or more children were leisurely riding bicycles along the opposite bank and were having no trouble at all keeping pace with the leaders as they 'zipped' through the water.

Yet another reminder that speed is relative. As are wealth, beauty and all the other things we measure in this life. lol

It's Official

I'm reposting some of my old blog material,
mostly to get it all in one place again.
This was originally posted on My Space on Aug 5, 2008.

It's not an official hurricane until you've seen one of the local news people wearing their storm gear and broadcasting outside in the middle of the storm as wind, rain and the occasional loose stop sign fly past them.



Idiots

It's Heeere!

I'm reposting some of my old blog material,
mostly to get it all in one place again.
This was originally posted on My Space on Aug 3, 2008.

Everyone say hi to Edouard.

Edouard is our newest tropical disturbance in the Gulf and the local weathermen could not be happier. Right now it's a tropical storm but they're quite sure it will be a Category 1 hurricane by the time it rumbles ashore. The news people are giddy with excitement and are already staging their gear on Galveston Island where most computer models (which are almost always wrong) have Edouard headed. They've been watching this area of low pressure ease its way out into the Gulf from southern Louisiana and praying it would develop.

It did.




So what happens now?

Now we wait and see... and we prepare... and we watch the news people make complete asses of themselves.

The waiting part won't take long. Estimated time of arrival is Tuesday morning.

Preparation basically involves buying some batteries, some canned goods, water and maybe a little plywood. Electricity will almost certainly be lost for at least three or four days... possibly a week or two so no lights, no TV, no laptop. (that last one is unacceptable.. i may have to go purchase a generator tomorrow). Cell phones may be out temporarily depending on how much damage the cell towers receive. The hot water heater, stove and dryer are all natural gas so we should be okay there unless there's a break somewhere in the line and the gas gets shut off. I hate cold showers and that will really piss me off.

But the worst part of all is no air conditioning. If you've ever lived along or visited the Texas Gulf Coast in August you know exactly what I'm talking about. Temperatures have been hovering near the 100 degree mark recently. Throw 10 to 12 inches of rain on top of that, mix in the near 100% humidity that follows when the sun returns and you've got one of the most effective sauna's nature can provide. And it's not just during the day. Oh no, it's a 24/7 delight. I just can't wait for that one. Fans would help but since there's no electricity then that is not even an option. No, you just try to sit as still as possible, expend the least amount of energy you can, wonder what in the hell people did before there was electricity and pray for it to come back on.

Bet no one is bitching about their $400 electric bill this time next week. lol

And so we wait. I'll try to keep you guys up to date over the next 24 - 36 hours. There's not a lot to worry about. It's mostly just going to annoy the crap out of a lot of people.

Stay tuned.

Sticky Business

I'm reposting some of my old blog material,
mostly to get it all in one place again.
This was originally posted on My Space on Jun 28, 2008.

Have you seen the price of stuff in the grocery store? The price of a gallon of gas is a fart in a hurricane compared to the price of groceries these days. Seriously! When did the price of a twelve pack of beer go to almost eleven bucks? I'm seriously considering switching to crack. It would be a cheaper high.

Lately, it's nothing to come out of the store with a couple of small plastic bags not quite full and a bank account thats sixty dollars lighter than when you went in. When Starbucks is the best bargin in the store something is seriously wrong my friends.

I think I might have uncovered part of the problem though. Its the fruit. Yea, it looks all innocent and shit, laying in it's bins over in the produce section but don't be fooled. There's something dark and sinister going on with that fruit. It's stickered.

What? Yeah, no kidding. There is a tiny sticker on each and every piece of fruit. Every apple, orange, plum, pear, tomato (technically fruit you know), cantelope and watermelon.


I see a couple of real problems with those stickers. One, it is no longer possible to just rinse the fruit and eat it. Oh, no. You have to peel that little sticker off first. Good luck with that though. You might as well be trying to peel the paint off your car. That little baby is on there and it's not coming off without the assistance of a sharp knife (which, by the way, according to the terms of my parole, I am not allowed to be in possession of ...).

And second, who's job is it to put that sticker on there in the first place? I mean really, where do you go to apply for that job? Does it require training? Do you need a resume and two references not related to you? How much are we paying these people to put those damned stickers on the fruit? No wonder fruit is so expensive.

And what do you tell people when they ask you what you do for a living? "Me? Oh, nothing really. I mostly identify various agicultural products which are destined for distribution through retail dealers."

Is there a job title associated with that job?

And while we're on the subject of grocery stores... I've noticed that frequently, while shopping, a very mechanical female voice will flatly announce "Sevice Desk, two zero one".

What in the hell is THAT all about? Is it really necessary to interrupt Barry Manilow's "Mandy" to broadcast some ominous sounding cryptic code to everyone inside? Are there armed gunmen in the store? Is there another outbreak of salmonella? Is the gouda cheese about to pass beyond the 'Sell By' date? WTF???

Hell, the Service Desk probably doesn't even know what it means. So knock it off already.

Attention Wal-Mart Shoppers

I'm reposting some of my old blog material,
mostly to get it all in one place again.
This was originally posted on My Space on May 31, 2008.

I stopped at the local Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things today. I noticed there were an unusually large number of skanky, sleazy, inappropriately dressed women shopping there as well.



I need to remember to shop there more often.

Note: I am, in no way, implying that BS is skanky, sleazy or that she dresses inappropriately. This picture is simply an example of the type of dress I witnessed.

Okay, maybe I am implying that she dresses inappropriately, but the rest of that stuff? No way.

June 1

I'm reposting some of my old blog material,
mostly to get it all in one place again.
This was originally posted on My Space on May 31, 2008.

June 1st. Anyone know what June 1st is? Anyone? Anyone?

If you live along the Gulf Coast, especially the Texas Gulf Coast, you know the answer to that question is that June 1st marks the beginning of hurricane season.

I bring this up because hurricane season is special. It's so special that people around here start gearing up for it in March. It's so special that weathermen (and women) get downright giddy. They are as excited and nervous as a virgin bride on her wedding night. They can't wait to report that first 'disturbance in the Gulf'.

Home Depot and Lowes start stockpiling plywood, generators, and extension cords. Radio Shack fills the shelves with weather radios, flashlights, and batteries. Grocery stores stack cases of water and canned goods anywhere they can find the space for them. And the news people? Well, they do what they do best... and that is try to instill unnecessary panic in as many people as possible.

And what other natural disaster has it's own season? It's like it's a sport or something.

Yep, the party starts tomorrow. But apparently someone forgot to tell the hurricanes. The first named storm, Arthur, has already formed in the Carribean, a day early. Don't worry though, the news people were all over it. They've been flashing those annoying 'Breaking News' things on my television all day.

So if you'll excuse me I have to go get my hurricane tracking chart and all my supplies. I can't have a hurricane showing up here and finding me unprepared.

Oh, and in case you're wondering. The Katrina/Rita victims (remember them?) are still mostly living in temporary housing. Somehow, I doubt that they are in a party mood.

Party poopers!

We need a reason.

I'm reposting some of my old blog material,
mostly to get it all in one place again.
This was originally posted on My Space on May 9, 2008.

One day he woke up and decided to run. No particular reason. He had never done it before. But it seemed like the thing to do. So he ran.

It wasn't particularly satisfying, it was actually a little painful. But something inside him said he should do it. So he continued to run. He ran every day.

His family and friends thought this odd. They questioned him. 'Why do you run? You never ran before.'

He had no answer. He had no idea why he did it. He just knew he needed to do it.

It bothered them that he ran. It bothered them that he had no reason for running. They told him, 'You should stop.' But he didn't. He couldn't.

They needed a reason for his running. Since he would not, or could not give them one, they made one up for him. 'He must be crazy.'

Now they had a reason for his running. It wasn't his reason for running. He didn't have one. But it didn't matter. It was a reason. They left him alone and let him run.

---

One day he woke up and decided he no longer wanted to run. So he didn't.

His family and friends thought this odd. They asked him, 'Why did you stop running? You always run.'

He had no answer...